Typically in cases where a partner has been betrayed by infidelity, the reaction in the betrayed person is extreme. It is extreme hurt, anger, pain, revulsion, shock - all of these things. It is serious, deep trauma and it should be treated as such.
But it is not the time to break off the relationship without serious thought about the implications of that decision for your future and for your children, should you have any.
Betrayal is a complex situation, with many harrowing dynamics. Who is wrong and who is right is not the question to focus on, but rather how can we get past this and repair the deep ruptures in our connection.
Both parties need individual counselling and the earlier you can start on couples counseling, the more hope there is for successfully healing and repairing the rift between the two people.
Divorce is justified in certain circumstances, but not before you have at least tried to understand what has happened, and explored every possible option to maintain the marriage. Your children will be damaged by a divorce, or even a separation, your financial situation will inevitably be negatively affected. Women nearly always take a step down in standard of living in a divorce, while the men tend to be less affected, especially financially.
If you are brave enough to take a step of faith and come into counseling with me, I will honour that courage by trying to help you to the best of my abilities. Just give me a call or inbox me with your contact details and I will be in touch.
Don't give it all away, not just yet....there is hope!
Dr Elaine Fourie
Specialist in Infidelity Trauma